


Every Beat Of My Broken Heart

by LZSHIP



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Blowjobs, Jokes, M/M, Music, Party, Rules, Sarcasm, School, Second Chances, Sex, Smut, Summer Love, Teasing, bouncer, college kid Louis, ex boyfriends, larry - Freeform, night club, proposal, singer liam, successful zayn, they kind of share that, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 07:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LZSHIP/pseuds/LZSHIP
Summary: Owning one of the most successful night clubs in London is very lucrative if done right. This is what it takes: Be Zayn. Follow exactly six rules. Book amazing newcomers. Don’t date and don’t let your family accidentally book someone that broke your heart!Original Idea by gay_bieber





	Every Beat Of My Broken Heart

1\. Keep Them Wanting More  
2\. Be Selective   
3\. Hire Top-Notch Staff  
4\. Don’t Skimp On Entertainment  
5\. Nurture Your Best Customers   
6\. Keep Things Fresh. 

Zayn knew the rules and he kept the rules no matter what. This was one of the most successful nightclubs in London and not some cheap-ass, filthy fucked-up bar just around the corner. He didn’t care who was waiting in line to get in. If they didn’t fit in, they wouldn’t get in. Rule number two. And if the staff didn’t follow the instructions Zayn fired them because of rule number three.

“My way or the highway.” Zayn hissed, glaring at the new bouncer his sister had just hired. The guy had just let in someone wearing shabby _Nike_ sneakers and that was unacceptable. “Have you seen his shoes? What are my best customers supposed to think when they see that? How many rules did you just ignore?”

“I’m sorry.” the tall, broad-shouldered guy mumbled. “Will never happen again.” Zayn furrowed his brow. “I’m gonna get in and…uh…make sure he leaves immediately?” Zayn nodded, impatiently waiting for the guy to stop acting insecure. He didn’t need that here either. “Puppy license?”

Zayn gave him a once over and smiled through gritted teeth. They’d just opened and Zayn was already on the edge. “You’re fired.” He didn’t even wait for the guy’s reaction, turned on his heel, rushed inside and literally dragged the_ Nike-guy_ out of the club within seconds. Why did he always have to do the dirty work!?

The man, Zayn had just kicked out, was fuming with anger. Not that Zayn would care but tonight he was stressed. And when he was stressed it wasn’t a good idea to mess with him at all. “This club is shitty anyways!”

“That awkward moment when you’re wearing _Nike_ but you _can’t _do it.” Zayn retorted, smiling smugly. “Bye.” And with that, he ditched him and went back inside to find his sister. She’d no longer hire people anymore. Not her thing. Zayn loved her but this wouldn’t work out. It had been a nice idea but no.

“Yo, Zayn!” someone shouted but he wasn’t in the mood to see who it was. He knew this voice and he knew who that voice belonged to. That person would follow him anyway. “Wait for me, you prick!”

He didn’t have time to wait for Louis. He tore open the big black door in front of him, shut the door right in Louis’ face and yelled “Safaa, you better come here or I’ll make you!”

Took her less than two seconds to appear out of nowhere right in front of her brother, nervously chewing on her lower lip. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

“You hired an absolute moron, babe. That bouncer fucked up within the first thirty minutes and deadass asked me for a fucking puppy license.” Zayn explained calmly. He’d never make his sister feel bad, especially not on her first day of finally working at their club. “He forgot the rules. I hope you never do.”

“Why would I? It’s our family’s nightclub. Just because I didn’t work here yet, doesn’t mean I didn’t grow up with all of you guys literally turning the six rules into our fucking dinner prayer.” 

“Language.” Zayn hated when his youngest sister swore in front of him. She’d forever be his baby sister, no matter if she suddenly had boobs, dated a guy or worked at their night club. She’d stay 10 years old forever. Zayn wasn’t ready to accept she was an adult.

Safaa crossed her arms. “You literally say fuck every two minutes, Zayn. Stop being a dick. I’m not 12 anymore.”

The door suddenly flew open. “Hello, bitches!” Zayn had almost forgotten about Louis. 

“Hello, to my favorite hoe.” Safaa replied, laughing out loud. Zayn didn’t cringe at all. He did not.

“How’s my favorite princess doing today?” Louis asked, loosely wrapping his arm around Safaa’s shoulders. “You look hot, damn.”

“And you’re dead.” Zayn hissed, killing Louis by just looking at him. “Safaa I want you to change.”

“And I’d do that because?” She was so cheeky, fuck.

Louis rolled his eyes and Zayn wanted to murder him.“Because your brother would rather much see you wearing a high-necked potato bag even though you look like _this_, babe. He even gets annoyed when I say you look good even though I'm gay as fuck.”

“I always tell my sisters to stay away from “still-people” like you, Louis. You're a bad influence!" Zayn said, smirking. Louis seemed to be confused, raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation. “Still broke, still complaining, still a kid and still nowhere.”

Louis’ jaw dropped.”I’m just _livin’ la vida broka!”_

Safaa laughed, took a deep breath and shook her head, looking annoyed. “How are you two best friends? You literally hate each other.”

Zayn ignored his sister, too focused on trying to make his friend get his shit together already. He wouldn’t succeed and he knew, but he also told himself to never give up trying. “Louis you’re too old for college. Get a fucking job already.”

“Remember when you were little and you’d fall on the trampoline and everyone would keep jumping so you couldn’t get back up? That’s college.” Louis countered, flipping Zayn off. “You’ve never been to college because your parents blew smoke up your ass ever since you were born, so so shut up. You got no idea how being normal is like.”

“I’m literally the manager of this club, but what do I know about work?”

“And you two give me a headache. Bye!” Safaa interrupted their glaring contest just to sneak out quickly. Zayn would deal with her later. Not that he’d really insult her for making a mistake or wearing a short dress. He loved her to death.

“Keep talking, Zayn. I’m diagnosing you.” 

“Fuck off, _Lewis_. You’re just jealous because I’m successful and you’re still not even married to Harry.” Zayn knew he’d ultimately offend Louis with saying this.

“You told me that success is doing what I love and then making it a career. It’s not my fault that nobody would pay me for drinking beer, eating chicken nuggets and watching cat videos on YouTube!” Louis grinned before he continued. “And for your information, I proposed to him!”

That changed everything so Zayn was suddenly done with insulting his best friend. “Oh my god, you did!? How did this happen? When? You should’ve told me! You didn’t even text me, you fucker. It was about goddamn time!”

“Last weekend.” Louis announced, turning red. “ I didn’t have the balls to do it even though that goddamn box felt like a rock when was in my pocket. But you know Niall. He got whiff of it and got me a little tipsy to relax.”

Zayn laughed out loud. “So how did you end up proposing then?! Hope you were only tipsy because you’re the worst when you’re drunk!”

“Harry and I ended up fucking and he found the box when we got dressed again.”

“Sounds just like your life.”

“I fucking hate you.” Louis replied but got the giggles. “Well, he said yes, soooo.”

“I can’t believe my best friend didn’t have the balls to propose to his boyfriend but is getting married to him nevertheless.” Zayn took a deep breath. “I…um… just… Good luck, bro.”

Louis turned red. “Thanks.” He didn’t say anything else for a while. ”Harry is coming later.”

“I pray for you that you meant he’s coming here because I don’t need to know about your sex life.”

“You’re just jealous I got one.” Louis never gave up and Zayn was sick and tired of it. He should’ve just kept talking about Harry.

Zayn sat down and shrugged. “I do.”

“You have one-night stands, Zayn. That doesn’t count.” They’d never agree on that. Never. Louis was so fucking boring.

“It’s sex. It counts.”

“It's nothing compared to having sex with your partner, but how would you know? You don’t date.” Louis replied, looking very desperate. “Zayn, when will you ever date someone?! I need to see you being in love! I can’t imagine it and it pisses me off. I just want to see you acting like a lovestruck fool for once!”

“I don’t date and I never will.” And Louis knew. He knew damn well that Zayn would never be able to fall in love with anyone, would never be able to be in a committed relationship and especially would never be satisfied with only fucking one and the same person. No thanks. Love didn’t exist and dating was boring.

“Keep telling yourself that. One day someone will sweep you off your feet! You could’ve dated me!” He bubbled over with laughter.

“Because I’d let a mess of a person fuck me.” Louis and him. Ridiculous.

Louis pretended to be offended. “You kissed me once and maybe you’d like my dick!” 

“Louis, I was six years old and I kissed you on the cheek. I’d rather chop my tongue off than making out with you. And before I’d have sex with you I’d practice celibacy.”

Someone knocked on the door and interrupted before Louis got the chance to make Zayn lose his shit because of that topic. And it opened before anyone said anything.

“They just arrived.” Yaser announced, winking at his son. “The singer is getting dressed and the dancers either warm-up or practice some moves again. I think people will love that one. Heard he’s fantastic and I had a very good first impression. His face seems familiar though. It's weird.”

“Did I just hear practice?!” Zayn wanted to know, eyes wide open. “They better warm-up because I can’t have any amateurs on stage. Rule number four.”

Yaser laughed out loud and proudly patted his son's shoulder. “It was the best idea, letting you run the show. I never have to worry about anything.”

“I told you and mom I could do it. You can retire too or whatever.” Louis made gagging noises.

“We’ll do that someday but we both think that one day you’ll be a bit distracted and will need us until you get it together again.” He winked at Zayn. No. No. No.

“Not you too. Did you two plan on annoying me with that today?! Dad, I’m not going to fall in love. Ever.” He was fuming with anger by now. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone with this bullshit. “Tell mom the same. Again.”

Louis opened the door for Yaser, who was about to leave again. “You just date your six rules.” His dad nodded apparently thinking Louis was hilarious. They both left. Thank fuck.

Zayn didn’t understand what the issue was. The rules were great: 1. Keep Them Wanting More, 2. Be Selective 3. Hire Top-Notch Staff, 4. Don’t Skimp On Entertainment, 5. Nurture Your Best Costumers and 6. Keep Things Fresh.

And maybe it was actually seven rules, but nobody had to know about the “Don’t ever fall in love” rule.

Zayn closed his eyes for a second. He had to focus on business and his shit together. He needed to be 100% there today.

The most successful and exclusive nightclubs did not open every night of the week, or even five nights a week. They did not. If anything they opened one night a week to start with and gradually increased the number of opening nights over a long period. Maybe even months or years to keep the club in high demand.

And no matter how well someone managed their nightclub if the entertainment factor was substandard, so would their profits be.

Zayn’s club was at two opening nights a week by now, and one exclusive night a month, which happened to be today. They had the best quality sound system installed, and booked the best artists they could find. The only difference, and what made their nightclub stand out, was that their success was based on exclusively booking newcomers.

His parents had the best instinct when it came to choosing phenomenal new DJ’s, singers or bands and today was the first day Zayn had no clue who was performing. He should’ve checked out the live act earlier, but he simply hadn't had time today. He hated not being in the picture. 

He was so deep in thoughts he hadn’t even noticed someone appearing at the door at first but when he did he smiled broadly. “Are you coming, Zayn? You can stay here and just relax for a while too, you know? Would do you good for once.”

“Don’t worry, Doniya. I’m not gonna miss out on this one. Dad said the singer is one of the most talented he’s seen in a while. Outstanding even.”

“Well, then hurry up, my dear work addicted brother.” 

They rushed outside and decided to stand right next to the performing area just so that they’d have the best view. Having the opportunity of seeing great artists never got old. Zayn was always excited and could never wait to meet the person after the performance to tell them how amazing they were.

So when all lights went off to catch everybody’s attention, even Zayn got a little nervous.

Suddenly colorful laser lights appeared out of nowhere and the fog machine started working when finally the music started playing. Several very good looking young women, with different skin tones, hairstyles and sexy outfits started dancing. They moved like water transformed by music, flowing in graceful arcs, limbs in constant motion, painting a picture sound alone could never achieve. The dancers could never be captured by a simple photograph, any snapshot in time could never be enough to capture what their moving forms conveyed.

They were fucking amazing and honestly, Zayn couldn’t look away. That beat was bomb too but the girls were simply fantastic.

And he was so focused on one of them in the front moving like a goddess, he didn’t even notice when the singer suddenly appeared on stage, starting to sing while moving with them.

What he did notice immediately though was the voice. Zayn turned his head within the blink of an eye and froze, just staring at the man singing and swinging his hips in front of him.

His outfit was simple, yet hot because he was wearing black pants, a sheer white shirt and a long golden chain around his neck. And he could move his hips to the beat like nobody else while two girls were literally rubbing against him, touching him in the most sexual way dancing could ever express.

His arms were covered in tattoos and his body was thoroughly fit. Zayn saw a manly face, stubble, and a buzz cut. That was new. Apart from that, his face hadn’t changed at all.

Liam still looked like the Liam who’d broken Zayn’s fucking heart years ago.

And Zayn couldn’t look away, couldn’t move. Not even after Liam was done performing and disappeared backstage with the dancers. He still stood there, stone still, when the crowd parted. He did until someone tapped his shoulder, causing him to finally snap out of his state of shock.

“Are you okay, Zayn?” Louis asked, a worried look on his face. Zayn hadn’t even noticed he was there. Had he been standing next to him the entire time or had he just arrived? Had he- “Zayn, you’re acting all weird! Are you feeling bad?! Are you sick? Dizzy?”

“Zayn Javaad Malik.” Harry added, causing Zayn to turn around immediately. This always did the job.

“S-sorry. I just…uh…I felt dizzy.” Zayn stuttered, both fists clenched.

“I’m sorry, what language are you speaking? Sounds like bullshit! Let’s go backstage.” Louis suggested, dragging him along. And Zayn wanted to push him away, didn’t want to follow but he did. He simply didn’t have control over his fucking body anymore. “Zayn!”

“Louis, let go off him.” Harry urged, stopping them. “I’m worried!” They came to halt in front of a golden door, which meant Liam was in there. This was the door Zayn didn’t want to open for the first time ever. He couldn’t go in there. He could not. No. “Zayn, you’re so pale. Do you want to sit down? Let’s just go in there and I’ll give you a glass of w-“

“Over my dead body. I’m not going in there. Leave me the fuck alone.” Zayn yelled at Harry, making both, him and Louis flinch in surprise. And fuck if Zayn didn’t feel bad for screaming at them. Sure he and Louis always insulted each other for fun, but he never never never got into a fight with his friends. He suddenly started shaking and his knees went weak. “I can’t. Please don’t…don’t make me.” And then a single goddamn tear was rolling down his cheek and he hated himself for not being able to control himself.

“Next door. Now.” Harry and Louis pushed him inside of the office within the blink of an eye closed the door, forced him to sit down, poured him a glass of water and opened a window. “It’s going to be okay, breathe! I promise it’s going to be okay.” Harry's voice was the most calming thing on the planet, when you felt bed. Zayn appreciated it so much. 

“I’ve never seen you like that, bro. What’s going on? Do you need to throw up? Do I need to call an ambulance? I’m worried sick. Talk to us!” Louis panicked. And even though they mostly teased and pretended to hate each other they were best friends which showed again just this moment.

“L-Liam.” Zayn had lost it. He never in his life wanted to say that name out lout ever again. He’d never even spoken much about him in the first place. Louis, didn’t even know who he was.

“The singer? What about him? He was great!” Louis said, grinning. “His performance was amazing, wasn’t it?”

Harry nervously bit his lip, checking for Zayn’s reaction. “Louis, shut up.” 

“He…I…rule number seven.” Why couldn’t he just calmly explain why he didn’t want to meet Liam. He could just tell them that they’ve…they’ve…had a thing back then, that Liam kind of broke his heart and that he promised himself to never fall in love ever again, hence rule number seven.

“There’s just six. What are you on about? Oh my god, Harry call that fucking ambulance. Maybe he’s having a heart attack, a stroke or whatever. He never forgets about his fucking rules. Get your phone!” Louis was freaking out and Zayn wanted him to stop. Why the hell was his heart aching like that? It had been years. He’d closed that chapter of his life ages ago!

“There’s…It’s seven. It’s my….the….”Don’t ever fall in love” rule.”

“What kind of bullshit is that? Is that why you don’t date!? Why did you never mention that one before? I don’t understand anything anymore! And what does all of this have to do with that singer? I’m so confused. Why are you behaving all weird and why are-” Louis rambled, trying to put one and one together, obviously failing miserably.

“You were in love already. You said you’ve never felt love ever before but you have.” Harry was quick. Of course he was. He knew. “He was in love with Liam.”

Zayn just nodded because there was no way he could make up an excuse while feeling that horrible right now anyway.

“But when!? Why did you never tell me? How the hell have I never even noticed?! And where did you even meet him!? We literally been hanging out almost every fucking day of our lives ever since we were like three years old!” Louis was a mess and Zayn knew why. Louis knew (almost) everything about Zayn and he could always help him because of it. In their friendship, there had never been a single thing they hadn’t shared, a single issue they hadn’t been able to solve or a single lie.

“I was…I…school.” Zayn sounded like a fucking retard (and no he didn’t mean to insult anyone, thank you very much). His brain and body just didn’t seem to function anymore. He just felt like back then. Like nothing had changed. Like no years had passed.

“We went to school together, Zayn? All of us did? This makes no sense. I don’t even know that guy.” Louis interjected, scrunching his nose. “I’m confused.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Louis concluded once again. “The summertime.”

“Summer.” Zayn whispered, looking on the floor.

“How long ago?!” Louis wanted to know. “Is that why you despise summer so much? It’s not like you can blame the weather for whatever this was but okay.”

“Six years.” Zayn mumbled, by now counting the glittery dots of the flooring, just trying to distract himself from thinking about Liam. “Yes.”

“It happened when you went on vacation.” Harry explained. “That year when Niall, Louis and I went to summer school, right?!”

Zayn just nodded. They’d met on vacation six years ago. Kind of. Somehow. One could say it like that.

“I don’t even have to know how he broke your heart, when or where, I’m going in there now and then I’m gonna punch him in the face. Whatever he’s done had quite an impact if you forbid yourself to ever be in love again. I can’t believe you even were in love in the first place and never even mentioned it but that doesn’t matter right now. I’m gonna kill him.” Louis was fuming with anger.

“Sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.” Harry added and to Zayn’s surprised he laughed.

“Is that your way of agreeing with Louis?”

Harry nodded and Louis spoke up again. “Babe it’s okay to lose your shit sometimes because if you keep your shit, you’ll end up full of shit and then you’ll explode and there’ll be shit everywhere. A shit storm. Nobody wants that.”

They all burst out laughing and Zayn just loved them for always making that possible even when he felt the worst.

“So you think you can’t face him at all?” Harry wanted to know the next second, apparently deep in thoughts. “Because it’d be quite interesting if he…um… remembers you? I don’t want to be rude or hurt you, sorry. I’d just want to see his...reaction.”

“No.” And Zayn was back to being on the verge of tears. “I can’t.”

Louis suddenly looked like satan himself, an evil look on his face. “Yes, you can. We’ll go in there. I got an idea.”

Harry facepalmed. “He said he can’t. Are you deaf, baby?”

“What’s the plan?” Zayn had no idea why he’d even asked. He couldn’t do it anyway.

“You pretend you don’t know him. You can’t remember him and you tell him his performance was shit. Maybe even in front of that magazine dude. You play the ice-cold businessman you can be and make him feel miserable. As a newcomer, you need good feedback. You need the press to be on your side.” Louis suggested and honestly, Zayn had never thought about revenge because he’d never felt hate. He’d just felt heartbroken. And that apparently hadn’t changed so far.

As per usual, Harry didn’t agree with such things. “I don’t like being mean. Ever. Treat people with kindness, treat them like you want to be treated.”

“Life is not a fairytale, Harold. If you lose your shoe at midnight you’re drunk. Zayn, we’re gonna do that and afterwards we’re getting drunk at Niall's place. I’ll text him.”

And then it was settled because if there was one thing that was certain, it was Louis stubbornness. “Okay.”

“See, Harry. Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.” Louis seemed to be very proud of himself when he made Zayn get up and open the damn golden door only a few minutes later. “You can do this. Make him feel bad.”

He didn’t know if he could, actually was sure he would not say anything but he had nothing to lose, hadn’t he? His heart was fucked, Liam had already performed, their club was the best and would still be successful without Liam…. Business guy Zayn. Manager Zayn. Ice cold. No feelings. Hate. Revenge. “Hello everyone. Sorry for being late.”

All eyes were on him now. Shit. Abort mission. This had been a stupid idea. Why did he ever listen to his best friend? He not only needed to get drunk after this, maybe he needed to get stoned to deal with this bullshit. “Some guests kind of went on the rampage. Had to take care of this real quick.”

“Thanks, son.” Trisha said, giving him a big smile. “That’s Zayn, he’s our manager and my son.” Did she have to introduce him?

“Yeah.” Louis patted his bag, reassuring Zayn he was doing great. “The dancers tonight were incredible. Amazing choreography, outstanding looks and I hope I’ll see another performance soon.” He didn’t see Liam. Why didn't he see him? Where was he?

The door fell open, someone rushed inside, panting like crazy. “Wait, wait. Sorry, I’m here. Sorry, shit I had to use the bathroom! Why is it so far away?!”

“There’s literally one next door.” Zayn grumbled, seeing Liam’s face now. He stood across from him. Maybe Zayn did hate him a little after all. “Reading isn’t easy though I guess.”

Their eyes met and Zayn fell apart. He suddenly couldn’t speak anymore, didn’t remember the plan and forgot how to breathe. His eyes. Zayn couldn’t look away. Why did Liam not look away? Why did he not fucking speak up?

“Anyway. Zayn wanted to talk to…can I call you just Liam?” Liam nodded, still staring at Zayn, looking absolutely shocked. “Yeah, so…Yaser, Trisha, dancers and staff if you’d just… I’d politely ask you to leave in Zayn’s name?”

“Zayn is all about business. You can book Liam again.” Yaser said, winking at Zayn. “See you later. Everybody get out of here. Now.” His dad didn’t even include Harry and Louis, knowing they were around 99% of the time when Zayn actually did business stuff. Fortunately, that had never been a problem.

The door closed and that’s when Zayn realized what was going on. He was in a room with Liam Payne and two of his best friends. Why did he do this to himself?

“You.” Liam suddenly said, voice sounding weird.

Zayn didn’t know what Liam even meant but he didn’t want to come across as stupid so he just said the fucking same, trying not to either punch Liam in the face or burst out crying, knowing this man had hurt him badly. “You.”

“And me!” Louis interrupted. “So he _can_ remember.”

“Who even are you? Why are you here? Didn’t he want to talk to me? Business or whatever?” Liam apparently had control over his body, brain and what else. Zayn wasn’t even surprised. He was probably just pissed he had to meet Zayn here again since he obviously knew who he was.

“Screw that plan I’m gonna punch him in the face. He deserves it.” Louis was about to approach him, face turning red with anger, when Harry stopped him, grabbing his hand.

“No, you won’t.”

“I will punch him in the fucking face, kick him in the crotch and spit on him.” Zayn had never seen Louis that aggressive and he didn’t like it. He loved that Louis somehow thought this was the right thing to do for Zayn but this wasn’t his Louis.

“What the hell is going on here. Can you like... call your security?” Had Liam just genuinely requested that? Zayn laughed.

“Maybe you should punch him after all, darling. And yes I said that.” What has gotten into Harry? Who even was this!?

“Zayn, who the fuck is this?!” Liam suddenly wanted to know, pointing at Louis, completely catching him off guard.

“You remember my name.”

Louis looked like a bull seeing red. “He fucking remembers your name, Zayn. Can I please attack him now?!”

“Get out.” Why had Zayn said that now?!

“Okay.” Liam mumbled, wanting to push past Louis and Harry.

“I was talking about my friends. Leave us alone.” Zayn looked at his friends, making not only Liam’s jaw drop but theirs too. They all just gaped at him in disbelief. “I swear to god, get the fuck out of this room. Wait in front of it or whatever. This is none of your business but I forgot for a split second. Fuck off, will you?” And this worked just as fine as Louis stubbornness. They disappeared without so much of a protest because Zayn could really be horrible when he didn't get what he wanted.

“I’m sorry about them. My best friends always tend to be way too protective for their own good. Love them but that was too much.”

“Want to sit down?” He didn’t want to even answer Liam but he sat down on the small black sofa nevertheless, waiting until Liam plopped down next to him. And maybe he wished that this sofa was bigger because the last thing he needed was Liam’s thigh to touch his, honestly. He had no clue what he was doing here either.

“This is_ your _nightclub.” Wow, at least Liam wasn’t dumb. “You manage all of this?!” Maybe he was dumb after all.

“Obviously.” Zayn had no idea why he thought talking to Liam was a good idea. He was dumber than Liam for sure.

“If you can handle a night club audience successfully you can handle anything.” Liam suddenly said.

“Judy fucking Holliday.” Zayn commented, gaping at Liam. “Why did you quote her?!”

“I have no idea. Whatever. Look Zayn I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry. Stop confusing me, will you? Why would you out of all people even remember me? I don’t even know why I let my friends convince me to talk to you. All of this was a dumb idea. Let’s just pretend this never happened. I leave, you leave. You’ll get a nice article about how great you were on stage and that’s it. We’ll never see each other again like it’s supposed to be. Bye.” Zayn got up but instead of being able to just walk away, Liam grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back on the sofa. “What the fuck.”

“Can you at least give me five minutes to talk to you?” Liam begged, looking like he meant it.

“And I’d do that because? As far as I remember you not only broke my heart in two but you literally shattered it into a million pieces and then decided to additionally trample all over my feelings only hours afterwards yet again. I never felt hate towards you but guess what? I suddenly do.” Zayn didn’t want to cry, he really didn’t want to. The last thing he needed was showing that awful man next to him, that what had happened back then still affected him somehow. Maybe he should call Louis and allow him to…No.

“I know that apologizing for what I did back then won’t help at all. I also know that you’re probably in an amazing relationship with someone who you deserve by now, married even or whatever but I literally hope yo give me the chance to explain myself. I was the worst and I know it. I’m genuinely fucking sorry for what I did to you, Zayn. I never forgot about it and it literally haunts me because I never got the chance to tell you why I did this. And because I could never even try to make up for it. I swear to god I’m not like that anymore. I never really was but like I…I had no other choice.” Zayn let him talk, listened to what he had to say but somehow he didn’t know if he wanted to reopen old sores.

He just wanted to tell him. He needed him to know how bad it had been like for him. “I never dated anyone ever again and I never will Liam.”

Silence. There was nothing but silence for at least ten minutes until Liam dared to open his mouth again. “I didn’t know that.”

“Maybe I was only a dumb teenager, some pubescent little boy who was supposed to just enjoy a summer romance while it lasted. Maybe it should’ve been like that. But you didn’t even give me the chance to let all of this end like it’s supposed to end. You didn’t even give me the opportunity to hope to see you again or whatever happens in movies. No, this whole fucking summer romance had to fuck me over forever.”

Zayn didn’t know what it was but he wanted Liam to continue. He didn’t know if it was Liam’s voice that had cracked when saying that, his hand nervously playing with his shirt or his eyes looking absolutely empty suddenly. “I never wanted that to happen.”

“I just want to know why, Liam. Why did you do this to me!? I could never figure it out. How is closure possible when there’s always a big fat question mark surrounding something.” His own voice sounded weak by now and he hated that Liam still had so much power over him.

Liam closed his eyes. “God, fuck. Maybe today is the day where I wish Vodka came out of my fucking shower.”

And Zayn, the idiot he was, giggled. “That’s something Louis would say.”

“Well if his shower does that tell them I’m gonna move in with him wherever he lives.” And then Liam kind of went back to being serious again. “Before I say anything I just want you to know that I really fell in love with you back then. I was so fucking in love with you, I considered at least 50 ways of just running away with you. Absolutely whacky, I know, but that was what I wanted back then. I wanted it so bad, I would’ve just…I don’t know. If you ever questioned that, then sorry isn’t enough.”

Zayn was left mute. He had had his doubts.

“I never thought I’d talk about this ever again but here we go I guess.” Liam continued with an obvious lump in his throat. “What kind of…What do you prefer? The whole story? Brief and to the point? I’m so…I don’t know where to start.”

Now he even had to decide this. He wanted to kick Liam in the balls. “Just tell me and then I decide if I want to hear more. I’m not even sure I want to hear anything to be quite honest. Maybe I don’t even care anymore.”

“Maybe you do though. If you didn’t you would've dated some-“

“Don’t claim you know anything about me, Liam. Don’t you fucking dare. You have no idea who I am or what I’ve been through.” Zayn fucking hated him. Hate, hate, hate. Fucking Liam.

“I first laid my eyes on you when you dropped your ice cream in front of me. It took me two days of convincing myself I wanted to say hello." He smiled.

"When we first hung out the next day I was so fucking nervous I almost peed my pants. And when we went swimming together in the evening I got a fucking boner and that’s why I didn’t want to leave the water!" Zayn bit his lip.

"When we strolled up and down the streets a few days later I noticed I had the biggest crush on you while you insulted that weird gaming machine for not working. The following days it got so bad I started dreaming about you when we weren't together. Look, I got up at ass a clock in the morning hoping to just see you at breakfast." Zayn couldn't believe his ears.

"At the pool, I didn’t read any of these books, I just observed what you were doing when you and you sisters were goofing around in the water. Fuck do I know what these books were about. And when we met at that one restaurant while we were out with our families I almost completely embarrassed myself because all I could do was stare at you. I didn’t eat anything, but almost ate a piece of my napkin as an alibi and choked on an ice cube." Liam took a deep breath, his voice sounding sad.

"And then I kissed you for the first time a few days later under that huge palm tree. Remember, it was on that day when we snuck out of our hotel rooms in the middle of the night. I’ve never kissed anyone ever before. The following week we spent together made me realize I’d fallen in love with you so I told you when it was absolutely inappropriate timing. You still told me you felt the same."Zayn had the biggest lump in his throat by now.

"I had my first time with you, even though you didn't know I was a virgin.” Zayn’s head was spinning. He couldn’t process all of that information.

“My sisters knew and soon did my parents because I was shit at hiding my feelings. My thoughts were only surrounding you anymore. Zayn. We spent four weeks together until my parents…I…”

“I loved you so much…” Why did he have to say this? He didn’t even know why Liam did what he then did. He hadn’t heard shit yet.

“I wanted to run away with you so bad, Zayn. But I knew this wasn’t going to work out. My parents weren’t like yours. Zayn we’re from… It was different worlds. You could afford that vacation because you were rich, we’d won that trip. We wouldn’t have been able to ever afford something like that ever. This was my first and my last vacation. I just didn’t want you to know that. I was embarrassed.”

“What the fuck?” Even though he'd never known, he had no idea what this had to do with Liam ripping his heart out of his chest but he decided to let him continue nevertheless.

“And my parents don’t accept…they don’t…I couldn’t be with a boy. I couldn’t. I would’ve lost them, Zayn. And I didn’t have anything else but them. I would’ve ended on the streets. I just didn’t know what to do because I wanted to be with you so bad. I know we were young and all that but I didn’t care. I wanted you. I was just so scared.”

“Why didn’t you just break up with me?” Zayn whispered, while he was staring into space, his heart aching.

“Why is this so fucking complicated?” Liam seemed to be desperate but Zayn just felt numb.

“It legit isn’t.”

“Because we not only went to school together Zayn but because we share a very good friend.” Liam continued but Zayn didn’t understand anything anymore.

“You mean whe _shared_ a very good friend? Who? I’ve always just been friends with Louis. Niall and Harry.”

“Fuck it. I wanted you to hate me in order to never talk to me again. If I’d just broken up with you I know I’d have tried everything at home again to get you back and I would’ve ruined my own life with it. I wanted to be with you so bad but I couldn’t lose my family, the place I lived at and everything else. I was scared shitless Liam. That’s why I told you that one afternoon that I didn’t want you to talk to me again, that I’d just fooled around because I’d just wanted to get in your pants. And to make you believe me all of that I had to get drunk in order to pick up one of these girls at the hotel. I fucking stole that alcohol. I wasn’t interested in any of them at all and I never wanted to kiss anyone but you, let alone touch them inappropriately.”

Zayn was shocked, just staring at Liam in disbelief.

“I hated myself for doing all of this to you but I didn’t have a fucking choice. I am so sorry and believe my when I tell you that I’ve been punished every single day at school afterwards. I had to see you everyday knowing what I’ve done, had to witness what you’ve been through because of me and…I….Harry told me everything. I know it all.”

“What do you mean Harry?!” Zayn shrieked, his heart suddenly racing like crazy, pounding so hard he could almost hear it.

“Harry and I were friends. We…we still are. Back then he just thought I was confused about my sexuality and kind of just accepted the whole situation I told him about. He still reminded me every day that I hurt you very badly though." Liam confessed, while Zayn jumped to his feet, rushed out of the room to tell Harry to get back inside.

“Harry fucking Styles if you don’t come in here right fucking now and give me a good fucking explanation for all of this I’m gonna kill you.” Zayn screamed into his face. “I pray for you that Liam lied or you better have the best explanation I’ve ever heard.”

“Stop screaming at my fiancé!” Louis ranted, shoving Zayn. “Calm the fuck down.”

“Liam didn’t lie. We know each other. In case he claimed that.” Harry dropped the bombshell. “We’re friends.”

Now Louis almost lost it. “I dont understand anything anymore!”

“Harry knew about what Liam has done to me! He knew all along!” Zayn was crying out of anger. How could one of his best friends betray him like that.

“Harry hates me for it, in case that helps.” Liam mumbled, trying to calm them down.

“Do I look like I care? How am I supposed to ever look you in the eyes again, Harry? How? You know that I don’t date because Liam ripped my heart out of my chest back then! You know the whole story! You know what I went through after that! The panic attacks, the self hatred, the anxiety, the eating disorder! You know that I had to see him ever single day at school, you know… You know both sides! You know it all and you never…I can’t believe you’re friends with him too!” Zayn broke down, suddenly getting on his knees because he couldn’t stand anymore. He just sat on the floor weeping bitterly.

“Harry you never told me. I’d usually go off now, but seeing my best friend Zayn like that breaks me more. I can’t believe both of you did this to him. Can you see this? For the longest time I thought he doesn’t date because he just likes to fuck. But…He’s hurt. He still is. Wow. Get out of here. Both of you.”

“I never stopped.” Liam suddenly decided to blurt out. “I never stopped loving you.”

“I’ll end your life in two seconds so you will, asshole!” Louis bawled at Liam. “Shut the fuck up and leave this place. Never even think about coming back! How dare you.”

“What?” Zayn almost choked on his own tears but he’d heard what Liam had said. “What did you just say?”

“I never fucking stopped loving you. I never loved anybody else ever again! I didn’t allow myself to do that because I know I’m the worst. I never got over you! That’s the fucking truth and the fucking reason Harry forced me to text your parents that I’d like to perform here. I would’ve never done that! Do you really think I would’ve wanted to do that to you?” Liam broke out in tears too.

“I just can’t see you two like this anymore! Zayn you turned into a fuckboy even though you are none! All you want is to be loved and to love, yet you just fuck around trying to forget! You spend money on the dumbest things and behave like a rich asshole. You’re an ice cold manager, you don’t do weak days and you especially don’t have much of a private life. All you do is think about this fucking club, plan stuff for this club, talk about this club and I can’t hear it anymore!” Harry took a deep breathe while all of them were staring at him.

“And Liam, you never allow yourself to be happy. I had to make you move out of your horrible home already. Had to force you to rent a nice appartment and not some shed. I even had to force you to upload videos to your YouTube channel. When that guy discovered you and literally begged you to sign a contract because you’re an amazing singer you didn’t accept because you thought you didn’t deserve that. It’s been six years and you’re both broken! But you’re adults now and I wanted you to talk things out already. So yes, it wasn’t an really an accident Yaser booked Liam. Maybe I was involved. But that’s beside the point!”

Louis wanted to say something but Harry cut him off. “And you don’t know Liam because you didn’t have the same classes, because he’s younger than you and because I told him to stay away from you. So sorry if I never told you about him or anything but I love you and I didn’t want Liam around you until he’d get his shit together. He’s actually a nice guy and you’d like him but I know you’d try to kill him if you knew about what happened between him and Zayn!”

Zayn couldn’t breathe. “This is….unreal.”

“Liam did you tell him the truth?! Everything!?” Harry growled, looking daggers at Liam.

“Yes.”

“Did you tell him that you’ve always kinda crushed on him even before that vacation or no? If you didn’t, he did, Zayn. Ever since you were like 13 years old! You're his childhood crush or whatever it's called. But he was convinced he was only into girls and-“

“If I’d…if we… Liam, if we’d forget about it all, would you…Do you think…?”Zayn rambled but he couldn’t help it. He was confused, overwhelmed, sad, angry and happy at the same time and he still didn’t have anything to lose. He just had to ask.

“You’d never want that.” Liam said scarcely audible. “This is a bad idea.”

“Maybe… Well, maybe I didn’t even have time anyway. You’re…probably right.” Zayn replied, staring at the wall.

“That’s what I meant! That’s exactly what I was talking about. Louis, please please be my other half and help me out. If you are angry at me, disappointed or whatever I promise I’m gonna fix it but do something. Help me!” Harry sounded like he was about to have a nervous break down.

“Zayn? If that stuff had never happpend, do you think you’d be with Liam now? Like still? Do you think that? That you maybe could’ve been married even or whatever? Or do you think it would’ve been a nice almost forgotten summer romance?” Zayn didn’t want to answer that. Not in front of Liam. He’d laugh at him. “Liam if you make a noise, you’re dead.”

“Fuck you, why do you have to know me that well, Louis? Yes, I’m naive, so what? I think we could’ve been…I mean…I think we’d still be together, yeah. It’s kind of…You two fell in love a year later and you’re enganged now so it’s not…not that far fetched, isn’t it?” Zayn couldn’t believe he’d just said that. He’d never allowed himself to even think about such things.

“Liam, I know you don’t know me. What side of me you’ll get to know depends on your answer now.” Louis was the best friend ever. He was. “So?”

“I think I made it pretty clear already, haven’t I?” He turned to Zayn. “I don’t know if you can ever forgive me but if you could I’d happy to be friends with you…”

Louis literally gaped at Liam and then he snapped. “Liam did you fell from heaven? Because Satan did too.”

“How am I supposed to ask him to give me another chance when I fucked up in the worst way possible back then? Being friends would be more than I could ever ask for! Don’t be dumb.”

“I’m about to give you dumb!” Louis said, jumping at Liam to attack him, but Harry held him back. Again.

“You’d ask me to give you another chance?” Zayn muttered, starting at Liam in disbelief, tearing up. “I don’t understand. I can’t comprehend.”

“Zayn, don’t you get it? I still hate myself for what I’ve done to you in order to not lose everything. I was a teenager! I really didn’t know any better. I’m so fucking sorry I thought this was the solution. Like I already said I suffered every day at school seeing you but not being able to touch you or even talk to you. I avoided you as much as possible not because I didn’t want to be around you but because it was the least thing I could still do for you. The only thing I…I just…The little gifts in your locker… The little notes. Do you remember them?” Zayn nodded, looking confused. “I thought if I just…I knew I’d never be able to make up for hurting you but I thought I could brighten your days sometimes. That’s why I left you quotes here and there or gave you tiny presents I could somehow manage to get into that dumb thing.”

“But I thought…I…You are _L_?!” Zayn couldn’t close his mouth anymore. “But I thought Louis did this to cheer me up when I had bad days! It was _you_?!”

“Why would I do that? Bro, I love you but that’s so not me!” Louis laughed quietly.

“Yes, it was me. Zayn what I wanted to say is that I meant it when I said I never stopped being in love with you. I was hurting too. Like crazy. The only difference is that I deserved it. And when we left school it got even worse because I only ever got to hear stories about you or see a picture here and there.”

“Harry.”

“Zayn! Just give him a fucking chance, please. You could at least become friends!” Harry whined, apparently having hoped this wouldn’t turn out not to be so dramatic.

“I never wanted to be friends with Liam.” And it was the truth. He’d never had friendship in mind because maybe, just maybe Zayn had laid eyes on Liam way before that vacation too. “But I’d give you another chance for whatever this turns out to be.”

Liam was so shocked, he bit his lip way too hard. It started bleeding like crazy and Zayn immediately sat back down next to him, gently pressing a tissue against hips lip to make it stop.

Harry and Louis just stared at them and when Niall opened the door to witness just this, the situation turned into the ultimate chaos.

“Yo what the fuck is going on?! Why is Zayn almost sitting in that dudes lap, why is there blood on his lip, why does it smell like somebody’s cried and why on earth does Harry look stressed out when he literally never does!?”

“Hello, Niall. Well, this is Liam and if he doesn’t fuck up again we’ll probably be friends or even be dating soon.” Zayn announced, smiling to himself.

Maybe this would work out somehow. Maybe not. Nobody knew about the future. But Zayn meant it. He wanted to give him another chance. 

Liam probably didn’t have to do much anyway, but he didn’t have to know just yet.


End file.
